Cannapages Guide to Secret Menus

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Dispatches from the Highlands

Marijuana news from contributing authors and staff writers on the latest in marijuana and medical marijuana

May 22, 2018
San Francisco, CA

One of the best things about stokin’ your toke is the go-for-broke feast that ensues afterward. Why not go out on a limb and order some of these “secret” menu items from your favorite eateries the next time you’re out? You might just impress your posse. Here are our CannaCadet favorites:

McDonald’s Chicken & Waffles - More popular down South, or anywhere near a Waffle House.

Subway’s Pizza Sub - It’s pretty much just an Italian BMT with some marinara sauce from the meatball bin. Some would call that resourceful, others, ballsy.

Taco Bell: The Incredible Hulk -  Replaces the 5-Layer Burrito’s nacho cheese with guac, and the inside-tortilla with salsa. Its your strategic low-fat option, if you’re on a diet but going to Taco Bell.

Wendy’s Barnyard Burger - This burger ate a chicken sandwich then got strangled by some bacon. But you--you are on top of the fast food chain.

Starbucks Puppuccino - If you’re high and walking your dog through a Starbucks, don’t forget to grab a full cup of whipped cream for your pup. Then trot it promptly home to fumigate the house.

5 Guys Burgers & Fries' Patty Melt - Is it a super-awesome grilled cheese? Or a sort-of-awesome cheeseburger?

Arby’s Meat Mountain - To prepare for a long winter, it’s strategic to stock up on several months’ worth of calories at once with the Meat Mountain; you get bacon, roast beef, cheddar, steak, bristket, corned beef, swiss cheese, ham, roast turkey, and two chicken tenders. At ten bucks it’s probably worth it, as long as you don’t mind sitting on a toilet for four straight hours.

In-N-Out, Animal Style - Probably the most widely-recognized secret command, get any burger or fries covered in melted cheese, grilled onions, and grease.

Denny’s French Toast Grilled Cheese - The question is, how high are you?

Chipotle Quesarito - It’s a burrito wrapped inside a quesadilla. Availability uncertain... same goes for digestion.

In-N-Out 20x20 - Very possibly the stonedest creation of a sandwich in the history of mankind, get 20 patties stacked between two buns, all buffered with cheese. Cheezus.

Chik-Fil-A: Blueberry Cheesecake Milkshake - They take a vanilla milkshake and mix in a piece of blueberry cheesecake. Total stoner move.

Sonic Fried Pickles (‘Pickle-Os’) - Even though they’re not on the menu anymore, they’re still secretly made to order for cadets with hella-weird palates.

McDonald’s Mc10:35 - Just when they start to change everything over in the morning you can order this gem. They put an Egg McMuffin inside a McDouble. Life doesn’t get any brunchier than that.

Items Found on RantFood.Com

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