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Dispatches from the Highlands

Printed bi-monthly in CANNAPAGES Print directory
News from CannaTown
March 26, 2019
$4.20 Cents

My Philanthropy Will Not Go Un-Reckonized

Purp March 22, 2019

People ruminate in this town when the summer heat starts cookin’ the eggs. I hear it every year. Some up-town soap factory junkie starts spreadin’ news that I’m all about the cash. The dividends. Me? Feck, do I look like I’m takin’ home coin? You think I have diamond teeth, and a Rolls Royce behind that Superbird? Just think of…

Album Notes: The Claypool Lennon Delirium - South of Reality

Erickson March 22, 2019

The man who wrote "Wynona's Big Brown Beaver" and the son of the man who penned "I Am the Walrus" are back together as the Claypool Lennon Delirium. After most assumed (myself included) that 2016's Monolith of Phobos would be a one-off, Les Claypool and Sean Lennon team up again on the far more impressive South of Reality, an…

Bong Water Pipeline Resumes Operation

Dispatches March 22, 2019

Despite a season of protests that drew crowds from across the globe, construction of the bong water pipeline was completed last month and began pumping dank, putrid bong water away from the city this week. But officials, who say the abrupt launch was somewhat political, admit that no safeguards or regulations were set in place, much less lunch breaks.

Album Notes: James Blake, Steve Gunn, and the Cat Empire

Erickson March 12, 2019

James Blake
Assume Form
On his fourth album, the London native is back at it with his usual nimble production and sublime voice. An impressive palette of minimalist yet explosive glitches, samples, and beats, Blake relies on his own piano as much as he borrows from hip-hop and various electronic sub-genres. All of this serves as…

Post-Workout Fit’eniss Muffins

Cousin D March 12, 2019

It’s time to start the wake n’ bake -- or at least, mid-morning munchies -- with something more filling and healthy than our typical decadent treat. Depending on batter-to-berry/chip ratio, this recipe delivers two dozen large, mouthwatering “Post-Workout Fit’eniss” muffins. As in, you’ll be fit’eniss muffin into your mouth for a nutrition and mood boost, at 25mg THC…

"I got ripped in Ripped."

Dispatches March 12, 2019

Drive on a blustery early spring day out north of Cannatown, up the foothills past Black Reefer Falls, into the the dona Juanita Valley, and you’ll come upon Ripped, a small little town known to few outside its forest walls. Without thinking, you can zip through the main strip, in and out and further skyward in just seconds, unaware of…

So you’re in this smaking circle too, huh?

Mordecadecai Tuckerson March 12, 2019

Hey, duder, what’s up. How do you know Joe? Awesome. Wild man, yea, we probably met back when I lived with him near the University. Yea, you remember that? On Niagara Street. Seems like a dream now, woah. Like a blur. Did that life really happen? Remember Floyd the cat? Joe told me to come down for 4/20 so here…

Hard Times at CannaTown Toast & CO

Dispatches February 7, 2019

After nearly 100 years open, a local icon is starting to layoff employees and reduce hours of operation due to budget reductions and the uncertain ecannamy. CannaTown Toast & Co., long operating at the factory in lower Hashbury district, issued notices to hundreds of employees on Friday. Just under one third of the first shift crew had been…

I’m Glad I Smaked the Whole Last Bowl

Dr. Basil Wilberforce February 7, 2019

I know I’ll regret it in the morning, but looking back now these past twenty minutes, I’m glad I smaked it. The bowl. I’m glad I smaked the whole thing, even if it constituted the final crummerts of my satchel, by George.

You know, my fellow cadets get into these dreadful routines where they brush the…

Breaking News: Mr. Catty Boom Boom Has Eaten All of the Cupcakes

Dispatches February 7, 2019

After several minutes of reported terror and chaos in the kitchen, sources now confirm that Mr. Catty Boom Boom has chowed through all the cupcakes. Two dozen chocolate patisseries had been open to all fellow residents as of Saturday night, when Dave brought them back from the wedding he catered. Long a topic at this morning’s wake and…

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