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Dispatches from the Highlands

Printed bi-monthly in CANNAPAGES Print directory
August 8, 2022
News from CannaTown
$4.20 Cents

Album Notes - Jack White - Entering Heaven Alive

Erickson August 8, 2022

Back in November, Jack White announced that he would be releasing two solo albums in 2022, and shortly thereafter it became clear that the pair would stand diametrically opposed. Look no further than the two versions of "Taking Me Back" to illustrate the differences.

Following April's quirky, rocking Fear of the Dawn, on July 22…

Van Cannaby To Canncel 'Purp School' Debt

Dispatches August 8, 2022

Mayor VanCannaby’s administration recently announced a rolling initiative to use hundreds of dollars in automatic student loan canncellation for over a half-thousand borrowers, characterizing the forgiveness as the largest, and weirdest in history. 

The settlement stems from a 2020 class action lawsuit, Sweet Leaf vs. Carts, which argued many borrower defense claims for the loan canncellation…

Cannascopes July 2022

Dispatches July 28, 2022

Discover Your Fortune!

Aries - Your A/C has been going on and off, on and off, over and over again, not because it's saving energy, but because it loathes you. 

Taurus - You finally accomplished everything on your bucket list--impressive--although now you’ve got about 40 years to kill.

Gemini - It's not…

Old Dolls Randomly Appearing, as Community Freaks Out

Dispatches July 21, 2022

It happened in the middle of the night.

“And just like that, there were two of them on my front porch.” Tiffany Dean holds her stomach as she tells the story, gesturing to two little figurines cast off the corner of her house. The lay lifeless, one, with its head turned toward the heavens, the other…

AintMilk Ain't a Hit, They Ain't Gonna Drink It

Dispatches July 13, 2022

While not all of AintCo’s "non" products have been popular, all of them have been truly unpopular. But a new report shows that consumers have narrowed out one particularly horrible item, the dairly substitute, AintMilk, which has sold, by some counts, no more than 420 cartons. Some grocery store operators say are sitting on full warehouses of unsold…

Album Notes - Perfume Genius - Ugly Season

Erickson July 7, 2022

The music itself is not what I would normally find myself called to during summer, but the name certainly is apt for its sound. Ugly Season is a 52-minute tour de force from Michael Alden Hadreas, better known as Perfume Genius. 

Despite rave reviews and a handful of tracks I enjoyed, much of his previous work…

INDEPTH REPORT: The Canngressional Hearings 2022

Dispatches July 7, 2022

EDITOR'S NOTE: Although controversial in nature, there is no way we could ignore the hearings currently underway at the Capitol. As journalists we are bound to report on the facts, and here we present them for our readers to draw their own conclusions. 

It was a dark day for democracy. The Cannatown Cannabis Cup, once thought…

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