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Dispatches from the Highlands

Printed bi-monthly in CANNAPAGES Print directory
News from CannaTown
June 19, 2019
$4.20 Cents

Smells Ain't Free

Purp May 16, 2019

Don’t pretend ya’ didn’t see me. You were lookin my direction since you walked in the room and I was showin’ the stanky dank to Rollo. That’s right. I got that Purp. You been enjoyin’ her smooth aroma. And I’m tellin’ you right now, son, smells ain’t free.

I shouldn’t have to tell you that! Where you from…

Album Notes - Cosmo Sheldrake - The Much Much How How and I

Erickson May 13, 2019

Cosmo Sheldrake has an out of this world name to match a sound that seems to have been assembled by the musical gods.

Yes, the 28-year-old Englishman's real name is in fact Cosmo Sheldrake. Yes, his debut LP is actually called The Much Much How How and I. No, I don't have any idea what that means…

Energy "Toke'ns"

Cousin D May 13, 2019

Today’s concoction is like a zap of energy, a marathoner’s munchie. Camping? Hiking? Outdoor adventure on the radar? Why eat protein bars and smoke, when you can just as easily pack several dozen super-delicious “toke’ns” to whisk you higher and higher whilst you climb? With this recipe, the busy work really comes down to simply gathering the ingredients…

Album Notes - Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride

Erickson May 6, 2019

It's been six long years...

There is an ongoing debate in the record industry about how to set up the release of a new album. The strategy that is winning the battle in this "what have you done for me lately" world in which artists need to maintain a foothold in the public's consciousness without ever exiting…

I Found a Beaner in My Satchel

Mr. Polkadots May 3, 2019

A lot of people have been asking why I’ve been looking down lately, for the last hour or so, and I’m finally ready to admit it: I found a beaner in my satchel. There, I said it. I’m not ashamed to admit it, although I’m really not even sure what it means. I feel naked, disoriented, like I’m…

Album Notes - Cage the Elephant - Social Cues

Erickson May 1, 2019

The ascendancy of Cage the Elephant continues to amaze me. They’ve certainly come a long way since 2008’s extremely Beck-like “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked.” As the Kentucky crew keeps pumping out quality tunes, each album deservedly earns them a bigger audience. I was downright bewildered when I checked their tour dates. Not because the sextet would be traversing…

The Dispatches Guide to Workplace Success

Dispatches May 1, 2019

Summer is almost here! And with it, comes the annual hiring season and job fairs as Cannatown’s top employers search for the best cann-didates! Some will start as resin-scrapers or bong-loaders, or take seasonal gigs like playing reggae on the boardwalk, while the newest grads from Cannatown University may go into botany and seed banking. We asked local employee support…

Album Notes - The Cactus Blossoms - Easy Way

Erickson April 22, 2019

When every mention, feature, or review of your band inevitably brings up the Everly Brothers (and...we're still batting a thousand!), perhaps it is a wise choice calling yourselves the Cactus Blossoms as opposed to using the generic "Family's last name + Brothers" formula. Especially when Jack Torrey and Page Burkum don't even share the same last name! (They…

I can’t believe they’re selling that crappy phone I made

Hugh Jollydab April 20, 2019

Oh my gosh guys, I just realized they're selling that terrible phone I made at work! Yea, the one that smashes and breaks when it flips! I even said to my sup the other day, “Dude, I’m so high, this phone I made is totally shitty and I’m too ripped to even figure out how to turn it…

Album Notes - Okilly Dokilly - Howdilly Twodilly

Erickson April 16, 2019

Alright, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "We finally got some mid-fi new wave surf punk country rockabilly, but where's my Simpson's themed metalcore explicitly devoted to and revolving around Homer's ever-positive, most pious neighbor?" Well my friends, today is your day, as Okilly Dokilly, a five-piece out of Phoenix, take what transpired due to being "stuck in a…

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