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Dispatches from the Highlands

Printed bi-monthly in CANNAPAGES Print directory
News from CannaTown
January 20, 2019
$4.20 Cents

Convention Season Comes to CannaTown and the Highlands

Dispatches November 16, 2018

It’s already upon us! There’s excitement in the air as convention season comes to the Highlands, with all the vendors, booths, media, fanfare and food truck blitzes that come along! It’s the only time that bystanders can get hard-hitting information not readily available elsewhere, such as regional cannabis magazines, cannabis doctor offices, online newsfeeds, all search engines, the…

CannaTown Railroad to Change Course

Rhett Thompson July 28, 2016

Cannductor Corey Doober announced that Cannatown Railroad has ceased passage to the traditional Resinald Howerton Mine and will instead begin escorting passengers to the Crystal Cannacaves starting immediately.

“We stopped going to the mine because nobody wants to see anyone mining resin,” Doober said. “I hate to say it, because of the rich history in…

“High” Computer Passes Visual Turing Test

Rolv Harris April 6, 2016

Learns, writes like a cadet well enough to fool humans

Artificial Canntelligence (AC) has made huge advancements in recent years, but typically it pales in comparison to the real thing. But now a team of researchers have developed an AC that can learn handwritten characters after seeing single examples written by canna-cadets. The research had two…

Van Cannaby Announces Canndidacy

Rolv Harris January 13, 2016

Enters Race for President of United States of CannAmerica

   Mayor of CannaTown, J. Van Cannaby IV, has entered the cannpaign for Presidency, just under a year before the national vote. He formally made the announcement to a crowd of supporters in the town square Monday morning, and launched a national whistle-stop tour by railroad.

Chiefers Come Back to Crush Rivals 7-6

Steed McGovern November 3, 2015

The CannaTown Chiefers came back from a stunning deficit at Friday night’s game to clobber their sworn rivals, the Crackling Beaners of Shwagberry. Even with 4:20 left on the clock, it looked like the Beaners had locked the game at 6-0. But in the last moment, Quarterback Braggerton Butts (3 for 75, 17 yards) found Colt Harrison (1 for 31)…

Smells Aint Free - Special Report by Purp

Purp October 13, 2015

Don’t pretend ya’ didn’t see me. You were lookin my direction since you walked in the room and I was showin’ the stanky dank to Rollo. That’s right. I got that Purp. You been enjoyin’ her smooth aroma. And I’m tellin’ you right now, son, smells ain’t free.
   I shouldn’t have to tell you that! Where…

Doomsday Marchers Downtown Encourage Repentance, Bud Donation to Doomsday Marchers Downtown

The Editors September 2, 2015

A group has been demonstrating in downtown CannaTown this week, flustering passersby with doomsday chants and speaking in tongues. Citizens are urged to avoid the group at all costs, and not to accept invitations to match bowls.
   They will not be matched, authorities say.
   “These trouble-makers scream that the end is near, and to give them…

An Interview with James Montague on His Trip to the Highlands

The Editors September 2, 2015

Tell us about your upcoming expedition.
My lad, we will be embarking into the highlands come the next full moon. Past the rolling hills and up, beyond where the highland farmers terrace their twilight gardens, through blunt cliffs and over the falls, o’er treacherous terrain will we ascend, until we reach the bridge of no return.

Museum of Very High Art Opens with Gala, Hullabaloo, Pomp and Cheesecake

Rolv Harris July 15, 2015

Exhibits “Highlight” World’s Highest Creations

After a long wait, Noid Park’s Museum of Very High Art kicked off its inaugural exhibits with a weekend gala. Attendees were greeted with the extensive work of Elroy Mckenna, known in some circles as the greatest producer by volume, of cannabis-inspired art, when counting his furniture and bedroom walls. A re-creation of…

An Interview with Jameson Montague

Banky Carlson July 15, 2015

On his Upcoming Expedition into the Highlands

Tell us about your upcoming expedition.
My lad, we will be embarking into the highlands come the next full moon. Past the rolling hills and up, beyond where the highland farmers terrace their twilight gardens, through blunt cliffs and over the falls, o’er treacherous terrain will we ascend,…

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