So what in the sam hill is dem yankies going on about?

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Dispatches from the Highlands

Marijuana news from contributing authors and staff writers on the latest in marijuana and medical marijuana

May 22, 2018
San Francisco, CA

  Howdy first of all!

Round these here parts, I'm mostly greeted by my grand pappies old nick name for me, Tyger. Though, I'm known by dem Yankees through my pen name Tyger42. You see my old grand pappy and I went fishing when I was young. "Your restless as dem leaves at that there tree yonder. I like your spunk kid, Ima call you Tyger." I grinned as wide as the CannaTown river, and did a hop skip and a jump. "Your restlessness gonna give you adventure, just don't forget bought the little things Tyger." Dems der words done stuck with me. Anyhoo, he passed god rest his soul. He told me when he went, "Don't cry one little tear Tyger, Ima always be in your heart, and when the good lord take ya too, Ima see you again." To catch you up and spare you the in between, I moved up to one of dem Yankee towns and got me my very own journalism degree. Anywho, ever since I've been going back and forth, trading knowledge and culture.

Dem Yankee boys are efficient, and might I add crazy as a rag tied hog. They got spunk that's for sure! They definitely forgot the little things though, hehe. My old Grand Pappy has gotta be shaken his head at them up there, I swear. That's why I come back home and write about what I seen. I write for them to, they like my down to earth approach, makes em feel all home like I guess. Me, I like it here, good folk, and I can always trust on me old pal P-P-P Purp to give me a hoot or two. Any way if your wondering why my pen names got 42 in it, it's cause when I got to Yankeevile their was already some guy going by Tyger, so I went to 42 cause my grand pappie gave me Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy, and well if you read it you would understand. Anyway, dem Yankees got a problem, and it gonna be ours too less we get a grip on some of dees hear Yankee terms.

I guess this story starts back with me grand pappie. He used to tell me stories, all of em true I suspect. Well maybe embellished, but that was just his way. Anyhoo, he told me bought the Great War of Sorrow that took place back in his youth. The whole of CannaTown was rallied and sending all our boys out in support of our Yankee friends. "It's funny," he said. "We was all sure we was heros or something, cause dem moving pictures told us so. After going through it all, I don't know Tyger, I got my questions bought just what in the sam hill was that all about?"

"Tyger if life has taught me anything it's love your women with your whole hart, and learn the con game." "Look Tyger, conning people is same as spitten in gods face. It ain’t wrong to know their game though. Them little uptight piglets running a muck on this hear world, gotta know em to beat em."

Well, I took his advise. I learned every street con in the book. You got your swell up and switcheru, prop it and yank it, lonely slapper hug o fury, and, well I could go on and on, they got a million of the damn things. The funny thing was dem Ivy League Boys running the same games, they got different names for it all though. They told me all sorts of stuff. You see I got this gift. Con men think I'm stupid as a brick. They tell me everything. Like when the bad guy in dem Yankee flicks always lets out his evil plot. I guess they figure I'm too stupid to stop em. Well, anyhoo the really funny thing about Yankvile is that they all getting conned and they don't even know it. They all to busy trying to con each other and they don't even know their whole life is in service to the super con men. Hahaha, cracks me up. Till I learned that this master con is gotten worse and it's coming all the way to CannaTown. It's actually been here for a while, but its getting worse.

I'm talking about a large well organized shadow government that runs them Yankee's lives. It's got a-lot of moving parts but I'll just break it down for you. Pull out a dollar bill from your wallet. You see that on the top der where it says Federal Reserve. That's our countries central bank. We been taught that it's there for good. Well I did some digging and I'm pretty sure they up to no good. Me old pappie showed me this here article a whiles back. Check it out by clicking this here text.

Basically we used have a diverse monetary supply market. They sent bull dogs around and forced big and small towns alike to their way or the highway. It's a monopoly, and not just any, it's a monopoly on our monetary supply. The heart beat of commerce. You can have a good heart or corrupt and rotten heart. Three guesses which one we got.

Look folks, I don't want to alarm you. It's just them crazy Yankees tying the dollar to everything. They think it represents food, clothing, shelter, heck I might go so far as to say life its self. They good people, most of em any way. Most of em don't know no better. It ain't like it is here. Here a man got his shack, his weed garden, his regular garden, his vineyard and or his brewery. We got our Tav, and you can get a dime bag or a hand made guitar from Main St for a buck or two. Money here is just extra. We trade it around, you do a little something for it. You get a little something back.

Them out there, you can't go no where with out them damn things, dollar bills that is. I mean it works in theory. You wanna live good you just do a little something something and get some cash. The thing is though, these banks, they just print the damn things. I mean it's more complicated than that. They lend off a fraction of their reserves, like 90% or so, and basically the way the math with deposits from new loans work, you can say they just print the damn things. One of them good hearted Yankees made a moving picture that describes the whole process pretty well, you can check it out by clicking this here link.

Meanwhile all dem Yankees running around spending their whole lives dedicated to earning these things. Me and my grand pappie used to sit back and laugh. It's sad, but you just gotta admire that a land full of con men are running around conning each other for dollars that are in them selves printed by con men. Now mind you there are some good people up der in Yankville. People working them hands to the bone with an honest living, all they get for compensation is dishonest money, and the smallest piece of the pie at that. A truly free market has an honest money system. That way the parasites have to work for a living and the honest hard workers get rewarded. That's who we gotta fight for, the honest folks up in Yankville and ourselves. The world's got enough to go around, it's just people think it doesn't, cause the big con men got everyone by the balls. They got this little invention called scarcity. Like the good lord ain't spread enough to go around.

So yeah the Federal Reserve system is a big stinking pile of hoopla. We can fix that later. Right now there is something we gotta learn about, it's called Glass Steagall. You see before The War of Sorrow, me old pappie told me about The Great Time of Woe. Them Yankees called it the Great Depression. Well like I said a-lot of dem Yankees are good folk. They just living a different walk of life. Well some of dem good folk in Congress looked into the Great Depresion, and they found out that Wall St investment banks pretty much caused it. Some thought on purpose but them Ivory Tower Boys call that rhetoric unless you can prove it. I don't know how in the sam hill you can do that but anyhoo.

Congress made this bill called Glass Steagall. It basically separated Main St, that's us, from Wall St, in terms of what banks from each sector could do with their deposits, or as them Ivory Tower Boys call em, securities. Basically it made it so when we deposit our pay checks on Main St, the banks we deposit to had to invest in loans that went to the local economy. Things like house loans, small business loans and the like. It made Main St have it's own economy separate from Yankvill's Big Investment Banks. Then the Yankville investment banks could do their own thing with securities deposited in their accounts. You know banks like AIG, Goldman Sachs, and Dough Bag and Douch Bag Securities. Hehe, I made that last one up.

It was far from perfect but at least the big greedy bankers couldn't create great depressions at will. Does that sound funny to you? It did to me too. Why in the sam hill would a person want to create a great time of sorrow?

Well dem Ivory Tower Boys explained it to me. You see it's basically a con I learned back in the day, a swell up and switcheru, also called a prop it and yank it. They gotta get society hooked on dem bills so they swell it up. Then comes the switcheru, now it's not abundant it's scarce. No one can find any dollars, they all gone, where they go? Now everyone wants it more, then they swell it up again. So on and so forth. Basically the number of dollars printed gets larger, while the ownership is more and more in the hands of the printers while societies dependance on it gets larger too. They make it all sound so complicated, according to them us regular folk can't understand it. It's a good thing according to them, we just too simple minded to get it. Look, the Federal Reserve controls interest rates, when they raise interest rates banks stop loaning, when they lower them banks start loaning. It's a prop it and yank it con.

After Glass Steagall they could still swell up Wall St all they wanted, but when they went to swetcheru, money was only scarce on Wall St and not on Main St. Like I said it wasn't perfect but it was a win for us regular folks. Well anyhoo, the banks spent about 70 years lobbing to remove the thing and regular folk done forgot about fighting to keep it. It was repealed a whiles back by that odd Clinton fella and a "Sin-ator" named Phil Gramm. Well not too long after that, we had ourselves a huge Wall St scandal. It was basically the same thing as the Great Depression, but the media up der called it a recession and started talking about derivatives and such. Basically it's a prop and yank. Same scam, different name.

My Ivory Tower friends must be shaking their heads at that there rhetoric. Like my Grand Pappy used to say, “Tyger you see that bird?” “Yeah pappie, what bought it?” “Well if any dem Yankee boys start going on bought their existential bull dung, saying things like how do you know if it's really a bird or not? You just remember, it's a fucking bird.” Now he didn't swear a-lot, so that definitely stuck with me. I didn't know what he meant till dem Yankee Boys taught me about rhetoric. A birds a bird, a scams a scam, and our banking industry is defiantly a scam. Pardon my rhetoric.

So any way, among the many things my Grand Pappie taught me, he taught me chess. “Tyger,” he said. “I'm going teach you how take a tyrant down with your mind. Use it for good, or I'll kick your behind something fierce.”

In chess you gotta pin your opponent down with every move so that you can position yourself to strike their throat at the right time. Basically keep them occupied defending against little things. You know, keep em on their toes so to speak. Then, only when your mobilized and ready, strike hard and fast at their throat and take the beast down.

Well if this whole thing here were a chess game, then re-passing Glass Steagall is like moving our bishop out and checking his king, while threatening to fork his rook to his queen if he don't do something about it soon. That's keeping them on their toes. Meanwhile we finally got our local economy back so we can start innovating and living happily. Then we use our free time and energy to make a full blown replacement to the Federal Reserve system, one that rewards hard work and honesty and forces con men to ghasp, work for a living. That's like queen to E6 check mate cronies. That's how I see it. Pretty sure that's how my Grand Pappie see it to.

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