Expert review of user experience coupled with cannabinoid potency testing and weed pics of Golden Goat from The Healing House

Unknown's critique for Unknown


Editorials and critiques of the best businesses and strains in the industry.

April 20, 2018
San Francisco, CA

This signature bud gets our “Cream of the Crop” stamp, and not just because it recently won “Patient’s Choice” at the September industry hash bash. The strain comes with a sort of po-dunk history of displaced coastal and tropical phenotypes mistakenly bumping into each other in Nowhere, Kansas. While Golden Goat doesn’t exactly smell like the dumpsters from which its moniker is taken, its pungently sweet tropical essences are only the prelude to its legendary cerebral effects.

We were treated to a meaty bud with splotches of orchid purple, covered in cherry-blond crystals and a mane of pumpkin-orange hairs. The scent was strong and sweet; two critics claimed it as a Sauvignon Blanc, notably the exotic Nobilo from New Guinea, known for its palate of gooseberries and passion fruit (the bud’s grind and taste was reminiscent of a fresh-squeezed Brazilian Maracuja). Need we say more? This Goat was Fruity. Its frosted bud smoked with an oak finish.

1st waves were a combination relaxation of nerves and settled in like an invisible hat, creeping into the face, then, by five minutes through torso and arms. Though psychedelic indeed, focus was still intact and critics felt they could function. One noted increased motivation and “hope” almost immediately. We were not easily distracted as we fell into productive, mechanical rhythms, accomplishing tasks instead of relaxing. Perception and precision were enhanced. Innovation and creativity, were, surprisingly, hampered. Stupid mistakes were made and in general a very broad fogginess hugged the cranium throughout.

A soothing strain, we all noticed tense nerves subside and one critic reported their mood had turned 180 degrees from sour to self-actualized. The muscles were bound and ready for two hours, performing repetitive tasks with what felt like refined accuracy (although personal results will vary). As far as cannabis goes, flight simulators may seem easier and fun, as well as roller-skating the local disco-rink. Free-form philosophers and improvising musicians will want to read or at least answer a question rather than create from scratch. In fact, fleeing the mental beaten path on any analogical level will only lead to major freakout, especially for those with a paranoid aversion to strong sativas.

Golden Goat made us more efficient people, and was worth the excitement. The whole experience could last 3 to 3.5 hours for some patients, and was a great fundamental choice to join our collection’s repertoire. A Cream of the Crop, indeed...

Published on December 15, 2013
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