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December 8, 2016
Denver, CO

With all the variations of OG Kush, finding a dependable favorite can be like trying to pick the best Sauvignon Blanc with little to go on other than myth. Hells OG, or Hells Angel OG, is a modulation of OG Kush, using Blackberry, a melange of Afghani, Hawaiian and Nepalese roots. How it earned its moniker is similarly lost in legend (other than every speculator’s theory about the motorcycle gang). No matter background or origin, the hybrid is a great bucket list strain for any Cadet looking to try something new.

  Our sample--from Caregivers for Life--was a beautiful, chunky burly bud. The crystal-cover gave her a  sand-swept look, made even more antique with the entangled copper hairs. The sugary aroma was subtle, and overcome by a very bright chemical waves from inside. The grind released hints of ginger lime, and even “the ocean,” according to one critic. “It does smell like Cali.” Packing the bowl left a residual sweet creaminess on the fingertips, but not with a mess; it was perfectly cured and dried, not too sticky, not too dry.

  The first hit was a swallower. A gasper. The first rip hinted at more to come in terms of growing sensations. An initial head-rocking, wavy ride of gravity, was followed by a back and forth sway. It crept over the first several minutes, growing, growing, extending first to the hands, then down to the feet within seconds. Pain relief flooded the lower back. The urge was to move around, but we couldn’t get out of our chairs just yet.

  “I was just talking to myself,” noted one critic. The rest of us were immediately lost in the office ambience. There was widespread lack of focus. So countless were the tangents, that much of time was spent exploring new music. One favorite was Grandma Sparrow’s “Farewell Bolero.” Lemon Oreos were also promptly devoured.

  The high was comprehensively mental to say the least. Intuition and insight were hallmarks. Critics were futuristic in their discussion of events, and cohesively adaptive to surroundings. Moods were described as “adventurous” and “spirited.” We didn’t bother checking our phones, eager, rather, to pursue unexpected novelty. The result was a bunch of people bouncing around from one place to the next, each leaving in their wake a string of unfinished tasks and messes.

  Although not necessary at all, several critics tried a second hit for posterity. It ramped up the creep, as if accelerating the growth rate. Regardless the dosage, our attentions were still diverted at the drop of a hat. That said, Hells OG is not very ideal for work--but awesome for hiking and climbing, as long as you’re foraging a new trail. Take it to the Renaissance Festival, County Fair, and pack it for the summer gambling weekend.

  Critics recommended late afternoon usage. Ripped from the bong worked the best, but a blunt wrap also made this enjoyable. The cloudy-eyed ride lasted 2-3 hours at full-impact, but critics noted ‘morning after’ effects up to 10 hours later.

Published on July 15, 2015
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