29 Signs You Might Be High

Dispatches from the Highlands

News from CannaTown
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Every wonder if you were truly baked?  The editors at Cannapages have come up with twenty-nine tell-tale signs you might be high, incase you were ever unsure - or anyone ever doubted your resolve. 

 

1. You went through the bank drive-thru for a sucker.

 

2. You worked all night and were really excited to hand in your big project, but upon talking to the professor, it turns out you’ve never been to this class before, in fact, you’ve never enrolled in this school, and the project was actually due next week.

 

3. You sank in the middle of the lake because you forgot to plug the bottom of the boat… for the second time today.

 

4. You just did a triple bypass surgery on a double-bypass patient.

 

5. You just made up the words to “Chim Chimney” from Mary Poppins for 50 consecutive verses.

 

6. You just ordered a big mac at a Burger King!

 

7. You just misspelled your own name.

 

8. You almost stuck your hand down an operating garbage disposal.

 

9. You DID stick your hand down an operating garbage disposal.

 

10. You stuck your hand down the garbage disposal, then lied about it to your wife and kids.

 

11. Right when you got home from the hospital, you stuck your other hand down the garbage disposal.

 

12. You concocted the most practical solution for world peace in the history of modern political theory, and forgot it within minutes.

 

13. You could swear you just heard chanting munchkins.

 

14. You just made a nutella and peanut butter sandwich at 3 in the morning.

 

15. The dog ran away while you were watching the Game of Thrones marathon, and now your wife is going to kill you.

 

16. You tried to carve a jack-o-lantern but ended up with a pumpkin-shaped bowl.

 

17. You just emailed that question about gonorrhea to your mother-in-law, not your bro.

 

18. When you squint, the clouds look like islands in the lake of fire of a sunset sky.

 

19. The Kashi bar tastes good.

 

20. You’re the only adult hogging the motorcycle game at Dave N’ Busters and you’re obviously enjoying it more than the kids.

 

21. You just refinanced your house at double the interest rate just to get the free Seinfeld Box Set.

 

22. The burrito from that dude in the van may be the best meal you’ve ever--ever--eaten.

 

23. You’ve been on hold so long you can’t remember what you were calling about and have to hang up.

 

24. You just added a real waffle and 2 snicker bars to your ice cream sunday.

 

25. You just erased your entire hard drive while trying to check fantasy football.

 

26. A mother duck and her ducklings just asked for directions to Wendy’s.

 

27. While making sweet passionate love you suddenly wonder how astronauts pee when they’re space-walking.

 

28. You brought a pillow to a gun-fight.


29. You got on a plane to Antigua, and just awoke in Cincinnati.

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