AintMilk Ain't a Hit, They Ain't Gonna Drink It

AintMilk Ain't a Hit, They Ain't Gonna Drink It

July 13, 2022

While not all of AintCo’s "non" products have been popular, all of them have been truly unpopular. But a new report shows that consumers have narrowed out one particularly horrible item, the dairly substitute, AintMilk, which has sold, by some counts, no more than 420 cartons. Some grocery store operators say are sitting on full warehouses of unsold, sour and curdling non-milk from the company, now resulting in a massive lawsuit against the corporation. 

AintCo was the darling of Wax Street not even five years ago when lab and plant-based options were rolling out nation-wide. Building on the semi-flopping success of AintBeef and AintNutsNHoney, AintCo’s release of AintMilk just over a year ago was seen as the next pivotal tier for the company, given how often people were ordering milk at bars and restaurants. They began with 24oz bags of the viscous white fluid and also provided a chocolate option. Within a month the trend was reaching not only hip establishments and co-ops, but even organic industrial manufacturers making homemade cleaning solutions and dips.

Then people actually tried to drink it. Their reactions, often on social media, spread much faster than any advertisement.

And consumers were not the only ones complaining. Former employees and current AintStaff (who wished to remain anonymous) spoke of their work with disgust. "Every day I woke up to squeeze thick beige paste from huge udders hanging from the ceiling," said an employee who quit recently. "Sometimes it would make me hurl right into the AintMilkBucket. And they would just tell me, keep going, yer puke AintMilk!” 

"The worst thing," added the employee, "is that I never knew what was in those udders or where the paste was coming from, or what it was made of. Nobody who worked there could tell me, not because it was a secret -- but ultimately because they didn't know either."