Crap, I Should've Kept My GME Shares

Dispatches from the Highlands

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$4.20 Cents

Dude did you hear the GME stock is worth, like, a ton of money right now? What the fudge man? I was just at my buddy’s house, and he was like, do you still have those 100 shares of GameStop? Crazy timing! I sold 'em right before Christmas because I was like, shit, these things are worth a bunch of money, like $13 or $16 bucks or something, and the repo man was about to come by for my KIA, and I was like, no freakin' way, not after this wretched year. That and I needed a satchel for the holidays like everyone else, right

I mean, it was just a few weeks ago, seems like just yesterday! And then today my friend is like, damn, braj, your shares are worth like $325 a pop! 

The fudge! Is that even possible, yo? Man, instead of catchin' up on like, a ton of car payments, I could’ve paid it off and bought an RV! Ultimate hot-box!

I remember, it was after fourth of July, and I'd just finally gotten my stimulus check, and I went on a spending spree and bought a satchel and a bunch of pizzas and fireworks. And I remember it clearly, because I, like, ran out of money and got another credit card for pizzas and some more fireworks. And that’s when I realized, man, GameStop shares are $4.20 a pop! Hilarious! And it was, like, 4:20 in the morning. You know, some kind of divine sign.

I really only meant to buy one or maybe, ten. But I accidentally bought 1000 of them at the time, because I was high AF and just fat-fingered the thing, and like, maxed out my credit card. And then a couple of weeks later, I figured out I made a huge stupid mistake, and I got rid of 900 shares because I, like, couldn’t charge pizzas any more, total bummer situation. 

But now, I’m thinkin, holy crap, man, I could’ve bought a house with 1000 shares of GME, duder! Or at least a stake in the local Pizza Hut, dudes! Think about that shit! Stuffed crust for life! Oh man

Holy crap, there’s gotta be something I can do! Maybe I could just, like, call up the broker, and say, hey, dude, if you’re not doing anything with those GameStop shares, do you think you could, like, give them back? Dangit! You know they’d probably be wise to that. I mean, who comes back askin’ about GameStop! You might as well ask about haberdasheries and fisticuffs!

Ugh! All for my stupid KIA! And I don’t even like that thing. Did I tell you about it? Yea, dudes, it totally reeks. I think there’s a family of mice in there.

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