The Bachelor Auction and Geek Ball at the Nerditorium went off without a hitch Saturday night, as a majority of bachelors present did not get hitched up with dates. Roughly 13 couples and 176 singles showed up at the Steemboat Springs Ballroom for the “Night of Nerds” charity event to raise funds for a pair of R2D2 and C3PO Memorial statues for the front terrace of Cannatown’s Moronic Lodge.

The annual auction, which listed well over 100 eligible bachelors this year, began at 7PM to a somewhat quiet audience. With the first bachelor onstage, the auctioneer began taking bids, but did not know how to react when absolutely none were offered.

The night went downhill from there.

The bids were few. In one case, a bachelor paid his “buyer” to buy him, in another case, one’s own mother made the sole winning bid. On at least four occasions, bidders requested a discount or refund before the night was over.

Although the vast majority of contenders were played off-stage following a full half-minute of silence from the crowd, thirteen couples had been “matched” by the final bang of the gavel, a record number for the event. 

There was a long, awkward half hour of tear down and set up between things, during which most of the "getting to know one another" was supposed to transpire between new couples. However, it was clear, as most of the bachelors stood six feet away from each other, arms free of dates, a few talking 
about the weather at length, then turning to repeat the same conversation with the next, that the dance event was not going to be the buckets of promised fun either.

The silence leading up to the musical portion of the night seemed to last for hours, even though just minutes. Every pin drop could be heard. “Thank God for the DJ,” said organizer Sam Wulff, “Once he started playing everyone could breathe a sigh of relief.”

The nearly 97 singles who did stick around were able to watch the couples dance. Thankfully, a small group of bachelorettes remained at the ballroom and decided to dance with each other, or phoned other friends to drop by. In the end, the thirty or so additional party-crashers made up 90% of those on the dance floor and 100% of those at the bar.

Together, the auction and ball ticket sales brought in roughly $376.43, for a net profit of just over -$4,700 after promotional, sound and catering costs were tabulated.