How To Order Munchies Like a Pro: From the Secret Menu

Dispatches from the Highlands

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One of the best things about stokin’ your toke is the go-for-broke feast that ensues afterward. Why not go out on a limb and order some of these “secret” menu items from your favorite eateries the next time you’re out? You might just impress your posse.
   Our CannaCadet favorites:

McDonald’s Chicken & Waffles    
More popular down South, or anywhere near a Waffle House.

Subway’s Pizza Sub 
It’s pretty much just an Italian BMT with some marinara sauce from the meatball bin. Some would call that resourceful, others, ballsy. 

Taco Bell The Incredible Hulk
Replaces the 5-Layer Burrito’s nacho cheese with guac, and the inside-tortilla with salsa. Its your strategic low-fat option, if you’re on a diet but going to Taco Bell.

Wendy’s Barnyard Burger 
This burger ate a chicken sandwich then got strangled by some bacon. But you--you are on top of the fast food chain. 

Starbucks Puppuccino
If you’re high and walking your dog through a Starbucks, don’t forget to grab a full cup of whipped cream for your pup. Then trot it promptly home to fumigate the house.

5 Guys Burgers & Fries Patty Melt
Is it a super-awesome grilled cheese? Or a sort-of-awesome cheeseburger? 

Arby’s Meat Mountain
To prepare for a long winter, it’s strategic to stock up on several months’ worth of calories at once with the Meat Mountain; you get bacon, roast beef, cheddar, steak, bristket, corned beef, swiss cheese, ham, roast turkey, and two chicken tenders. At ten bucks it’s probably worth it, as long as you don’t mind sitting on a toilet for four straight hours.

In-N-Out, Animal Style
Probably the most widely-recognized secret command, get any burger or fries covered in melted cheese, grilled onions, and grease.

Denny’s French Toast Grilled Cheese
The question is, how high are you? 

Chipotle Quesarito 
It’s a burrito wrapped inside a quesadilla. Availability uncertain... same goes for digestion.

In-N-Out 20x20
Very possibly the stonedest creation of a sandwich in the history of mankind, get 20 (or up to 100?) patties stacked between two buns, all buffered with cheese. Cheezus.

Chik-Fil-A Blueberry Cheesecake Milkshake
They take a vanilla milkshake and mix in a piece of blueberry cheesecake. Total stoner move.

Sonic Fried Pickles (‘Pickle-Os’)
Even though they’re not on the menu anymore, they’re still secretly made to order for cadets with hella-weird palates.

McDonald’s Mc10:35
Just when they start to change everything over in the morning you can order this gem (now that breakfast is no longer all day). They put an Egg McMuffin inside a McDouble. Life doesn’t get any brunchier than that.
 

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