Responders Working Triple Shifts in Moldy Jelly Donuts Case

Responders Working Triple Shifts in Moldy Jelly Donuts Case

June 10, 2022

Emergency personnel are working around the clock after it was determined that a local shipment of donuts--sold across town, including to emergency personnel--contained jelly-filled donuts with what appeared to be dark mold spots on their under-carriage. Closer examination suggested that three out of four were contaminated, and what’s more, there were no other jelly-donut distributors within city limits to quickly produce more. 

“We’re running out of options in a race against time,” said Lieutenant Brenda Morey, down at the precinct. “Terrible day for coffee on an empty stomach.”

Volunteers called throughout the Cannatown metro, verifying that other donuts looked similar and asking for options. Experts weighed in, recommending a “skimming” of the very bottom layer, using very sharp knives--but test participants were hurt with self-inflicted injuries, all while forfeiting the very safety of the jelly inside. 

“The only good news we’ve heard, is that the lemon-filled variety are coming back 99% clear," Morey announced later, "but there's not enough to go around by any means.” 

The bakery responded to calls, saying that the spots were caused during the baking process, and that the donuts themselves were fresh-made. But not everyone is convinced. “They’re tiny black spots--very suspect on a donut,” said shopper Tim Litscher, who purchased one such jelly donut before the grocery store recall. “But if there’s a bakery out there who says it’s okay, who am I to question,” he continued, mouth half-full of pastry.