Slurricane from Doctor's Orders

Slurricane from Doctor's Orders

February 22, 2020

Growing in popularity these days is the very stony Slurricane, the spurious offspring of Do-Si-Dos and Purple Punch that can fiercely put you in your place. Sometimes you just need to get four straight hours of medicated bliss from your joint, and this is the flower to do it. Our selection, provided by Doctor’s Orders, fit the mold well, not only in its relaxing pain relief but in flavor, potency, and sheer size. 

   The nugs were gigantic, bright with splotches of purple, and groomed like well-trimmed shrubs. “Glistening like fresh snowfall" with fiery hairs “out of control,” critics were taken by the gorgeous crystals and gentle smell of fruity pine filling the house. “These buds are the definition of art” raved one critic. Berry, Creamy, Pine--the hints were all so very subtle, it took a lot of thought to identify the musky taste. Regardless, the puffs were like satin. “Never have I smoked anything so smooth,” noted another. 

   The first spark was quiet and elusive, a total out-the-blue creeper. We were so busy trying to pinpoint the flavor that we didn't feel a razor-sharp high wash over us. By we time we realized just how far the riptides had gone, our feet weighed fifty pounds apiece and we stumbled like giddy puppets from one leaning-post to another in dreamy search of a nest to permanently melt in. It was a thunderous crash when we did--but we were alert, as if out-of-body.

   Talkative and relaxed, we were social butterflies and took “sheer enjoyment in each other’s company” as long as wandering minds allowed. The only warning? Be careful what activities follow your smake. Functionality and momentum were shot. One critic couldn’t remember how to take a shower. “It took me twenty minutes to get ready--I couldn't seem to figure out the next logical step to completing this task,” she said, adding, “I was freakin’ ripped.”

    “Absolutely lovely effect; may have a new favorite,” one wrote. “Happiest hours I have had this year.” We were best unmoved, left in our own spaces, but a few did make it back on their feet somehow, to do chores, reporting the ability multitask -- but it was wiser and easier to go with the more natural urge: to nap. The drastic pain relief made it easy to fall asleep by day or night, and dissolved pressing thoughts, making it one of the rare serene moments of the week. If that’s not priceless, what is?