In the latest heroic effort to combat Covid-19, local publisher Bud Finkel of The Slimy Slughorn announced that his publication is taking a huge step to give the world what it so sorely needs right now: another Youtube channel. “In these troubling times, it’s important that we all band together and ramble on about cannabis,” he told viewers during the first broadcast, shot from inside his garage, “and, in doing so, also try not to dwell upon the fact that it’s the only way we as a ‘lifestyle newspaper’ can stay relevant.”

“Stepping up to Covid is in no way a desperate pivot to social media influence as a marketing platform," he reiterated, shortly before pitching the show's sponsor.

Scientists and doctors alike have argued that more medical supplies for practitioners, public access to information, and full-scale chill-at-home policy are needed to combat the illness. But Finkel knows that more can be done, and he’s committed to making a difference.

“We’re doing our best to get our ideas into your inbox and playlist,” said Finkel. “In fact, our very survival depends on it. Humanity’s survival, not the company, in no way, the company -- just to be clear.”

Among the first clips aired will be the "Help Bud Stay in Business" show, and a series of shorts showing Finkel destroying personal property before it can be seized by bank repossession crews. The Slughorn’s current Youtube profile also teases that some juicy “COPS”-esque drama may be coming in future footage.

"Whether it's a new, uninteresting reel of stoner home videos, or just a documentary about their inevitable, self-inflicted bankruptcy, has yet to be seen," commented local TV critic, Diane Cheefsalot. "But either way it sounds objectively unwatchable."
 

Pictured above: Publisher Bud Finkel heroically prints one final issue before taking his unread newspaper fully digital.