Smells Ain't Free

Dispatches from the Highlands

News from CannaTown
Printed bi-monthly in CANNAPAGES Print directory
$4.20 Cents

Don’t pretend ya’ didn’t see me. You were lookin my direction since you walked in the room and I was showin’ the stanky dank to Rollo. That’s right. I got that Purp. You been enjoyin’ her smooth aroma. And I’m tellin’ you right now, son, smells ain’t free.

I shouldn’t have to tell you that! Where you from anyway! You’re in Cannatown Proper now, Jimbo. You never hearda Purp? My name’s Purp. I’M Purp. P-R-P, PURP. I’m the fella that’s listenin’ when you start askin’ Homes here what he’s got available in a violet hue. Violet hue? That’s like askin’ a grey duck who’s a goose!

See everyone ‘round these parts just says, “Purp?” Then I say “What, you need Purp? I got that Purp. I got that Purp right here.” But this ain’t just any Purp. This is like a swig of pure mash. Picked on the edges of Grape Gorge. Hand-picked! P-R-P, Purrrr-urp!

See, that’s why smells ain’t free.

And I saw you treatin’ your shnoz to a couple whiffs. Pull out that cash, son, I also accept bullion--gold. New customer, old customer. Smells ain’t free, not never.

Y’all need that Purp? I got that right here.

More Dispatches

Album Notes: The Claypool Lennon Delirium - South of Reality

Album Notes: The Claypool Lennon Delirium - South of Reality

March 22, 2019

The man who wrote "Wynona's Big Brown Beaver" and the son of the man who…

Album Notes - Parlor Mob - Dark Hour

Album Notes - Parlor Mob - Dark Hour

October 15, 2019

The more I listen to this album, the more my mind arrives at…

Album Notes - The Radio Dept. - I Don't Need Love, I've Got My Band

Album Notes - The Radio Dept. - I Don't Need Love, I've Got My Band

November 15, 2019

Nordic November Week Two. Today: Sweden. 

The Radio Dept. have a…

Sign up