Cannabis Reviews

Smells Ain't Free

Dispatches from the Highlands

News from CannaTown
Printed bi-monthly in CANNAPAGES Print directory
$4.20 Cents

Don’t pretend ya’ didn’t see me. You were lookin my direction since you walked in the room and I was showin’ the stanky dank to Rollo. That’s right. I got that Purp. You been enjoyin’ her smooth aroma. And I’m tellin’ you right now, son, smells ain’t free.

I shouldn’t have to tell you that! Where you from anyway! You’re in Cannatown Proper now, Jimbo. You never hearda Purp? My name’s Purp. I’M Purp. P-R-P, PURP. I’m the fella that’s listenin’ when you start askin’ Homes here what he’s got available in a violet hue. Violet hue? That’s like askin’ a grey duck who’s a goose!

See everyone ‘round these parts just says, “Purp?” Then I say “What, you need Purp? I got that Purp. I got that Purp right here.” But this ain’t just any Purp. This is like a swig of pure mash. Picked on the edges of Grape Gorge. Hand-picked! P-R-P, Purrrr-urp!

See, that’s why smells ain’t free.

And I saw you treatin’ your shnoz to a couple whiffs. Pull out that cash, son, I also accept bullion--gold. New customer, old customer. Smells ain’t free, not never.

Y’all need that Purp? I got that right here.

More Dispatches

I’m Glad I Smaked the Whole Last Bowl

I’m Glad I Smaked the Whole Last Bowl

February 7, 2019

I know I’ll regret it in the morning, but looking back now these…

Cannapages Names Stonedest Man Alive

Cannapages Names Stonedest Man Alive

April 19, 2015

Cannapages has named the 2015 Stonedest Man Alive, Geoffrey Derkins of CannaTown. It is the…

The Dankest Dough-Nuts

The Dankest Dough-Nuts

February 7, 2019

 

If you’ve got some time to kill on a winter’s…

Sign up