Animal Roadkill #3 from Epic Remedy

Animal Roadkill #3 from Epic Remedy

September 16, 2019

There’s a reason you’ve probably never heard of Animal Roadkill #3: it is a completely rare phenotype, grown locally only (to our knowledge) by Epic Remedy, who were kind enough to grace us with a sample. The name and appearance had us conjecturing on the exact genetic makeup (we assume an Animal Cookies x Roadkill cross) but whatever the true background, one thing was true: this indica will glaze you over in the evening like a hot bath.

The small bright nugs were sprinkled with dark eggplant-colored splotches and littered with thick red hairs amidst a milky way of crystals. The Deep Chunk of Roadkill’s lineage emerged both in hue and aroma. So pine-needling, so organic, earthy and pungent the essence that the spark was akin to eating oranges straight out of the ground. We were treated to a more creamy skunk on the grind and spark, and an exhale full of resinous smoke. 

To say it was a creeper would be an understatement. She was at first soft and quiet, mellowing out with a very heady gravity. Initial vibes were pleasant and calm but hid something growing bigger and stronger, just out of sight. A rolling tide crept in, growing into a tsunami, with every wave push harder and farther ashore until we were almost yanked off our feet abruptly. It took up about 20 minutes to take full effect.

From there, we were pasted to whatever surface we happened to occupy, and permanently. "It takes a bit to get this ride to start but when it does you can barely talk," wrote a critic as she curled up "like a kitten." Needless to say, we didn't even make it through the full fatty spliff. As the night wound down, light jazz made a good soundtrack as we rode the line between calm and sleepy. We were still waxing poetic about the conventional wisdom of Abba’s “Super Trouper” when the arms of slumber finally took hold.

A few of us suffered munchies -- mostly for refreshing beverage -- but the vast consensus was this is your ideal evening/post-dinner nightcap, and clear answer for insomnia. The rubbery, loose muscles stayed with us through morning, and a deep uninterrupted sleep made the next day that much better. Whatever Animal Roadkill means to you, we’re sure you’ll find the same serene, leisurely pasture that awaits on the other side.