Cannascopes April 2022

Dispatches from the Highlands

News from CannaTown
Printed bi-monthly in CANNAPAGES Print directory
$4.20 Cents

Discover Your Fortune!

Aries - Your reputation may never recover, but at least the baby birds you accidentally sat on will. 

Taurus - Like the Batman, you will learn to personify your biggest fear. But villains will be perplexed by Dying-Lonelyman.

Gemini - You would totally listen to that voice in your head more, if it wasn't always yelling in a foreign language.  

Cancer - Ever since you purchased fine art, you’ve finally felt like an adult. Now to just stop using Sparkle Crest toothpaste.

Leo - You’re no foodie snob, but that is some damn expired milk in your fridge.

Virgo - Everybody wants to meet you! Or, should we say, bring you in for questioning.

Libra - Ever since your carnivorous plant ate a mouse, you've seemed to find it staring at you, eerily abiding the time.    

Scorpio - As the sound echoes across the canyon and ricochets back you’ll realize it isn’t your voice, but a huge buckeye. 

Sagittarius - You might as well go ahead and delete your malware protection since you don’t believe in computer viruses. 

Capricorn - If you hit the brakes now, they might still be able to salvage the road sign. 

Aquarius - You had a great resignation, but you shouldn't have beefed up your resume with raw hamburger. 

Pisces - You've begun history’s worst diarrhea in a dingy gas station commode with no toilet paper. WWIII can come anytime.
 

More Dispatches

Album Notes - Gang of Youths - angel in realtime.

Album Notes - Gang of Youths - angel in realtime.

March 7, 2022

"Go big or go home" may not be the official slogan for Gang…

Album Notes - Run the Jewels - RTJ4

Album Notes - Run the Jewels - RTJ4

June 13, 2020

Run the Jewels' fourth album arrived two days ahead of schedule and not…

CEA and City Officials Vow to Leave No Bowl Unpacked

CEA and City Officials Vow to Leave No Bowl Unpacked

April 20, 2015

New Report, Horror Stories Spark Action

A new report is prompting…

Sign up

Removing Forum Post

Are you sure?

You must be logged in, in order to check out. The login button below will redirecct you back to this menu once done.

Your Order

Are you sure you wish to cancel your order?

What time will this order be ready?

Coupon Adjust